1/30/2005
Alone
Here I am, alone again on a saturday night...what did I do wrong this time? Am I doomed to be alone for endless Saturdays? Will this Saturday never turn into Sunday...wait, that's already happened. So it's Sunday...you know how I feel about Sundays...I'm alone on a Sunday morning...I'm not really feeling so great right now...I may have just done something...
I can't comprehend the gravity of all this...what it will pull into it. How strong am I?
Sometimes when you sit alone, you think too much. This seems to happen to me a lot. I sit and think, and I get scared. I think about my life, my future...
There's nobody here to tell me it's ok. Nobody to hold my hand. I'm all alone. I've never felt so alone as the times when I am truly alone. Everybody is gone, I'm sitting in the dark. Why does it have to be this way? I spend so much time on being with...that without is drastic...dramatic...I'm unconsolable...as if there were somebody who would console me at this hour.
Alone, alone, alone. Maybe I'll get used to this...or maybe I'll just go to bed. When I wake up, I know I'll be ok. Even the sun will be there to keep me company, but I can't bring myself to sleep after this. I can't bring myself to put this lonely post on the shelf. Push the button. Push post and go to bed...I can't. I can't see past this keyboard, I know this is getting much too long. Too long to keep your attention, but maybe this whole thing has shifted. Shifted to my needs instead of yours. I used to spend so much time giving my talent away. Now I seem to concentrate it on myself. Selfish? Maybe so, but I feel a little better every time...a little divot is back in my skin, a little self respect is replaced. I have no idea where I go at night, and neither do you. I can't swim in this ocean of apathy that I have been creating...I'm drowning myself. How could I do this?
I need you...
I can't comprehend the gravity of all this...what it will pull into it. How strong am I?
Sometimes when you sit alone, you think too much. This seems to happen to me a lot. I sit and think, and I get scared. I think about my life, my future...
There's nobody here to tell me it's ok. Nobody to hold my hand. I'm all alone. I've never felt so alone as the times when I am truly alone. Everybody is gone, I'm sitting in the dark. Why does it have to be this way? I spend so much time on being with...that without is drastic...dramatic...I'm unconsolable...as if there were somebody who would console me at this hour.
Alone, alone, alone. Maybe I'll get used to this...or maybe I'll just go to bed. When I wake up, I know I'll be ok. Even the sun will be there to keep me company, but I can't bring myself to sleep after this. I can't bring myself to put this lonely post on the shelf. Push the button. Push post and go to bed...I can't. I can't see past this keyboard, I know this is getting much too long. Too long to keep your attention, but maybe this whole thing has shifted. Shifted to my needs instead of yours. I used to spend so much time giving my talent away. Now I seem to concentrate it on myself. Selfish? Maybe so, but I feel a little better every time...a little divot is back in my skin, a little self respect is replaced. I have no idea where I go at night, and neither do you. I can't swim in this ocean of apathy that I have been creating...I'm drowning myself. How could I do this?
I need you...
