2/28/2005
Tha Darkness
My roomate had gone out...
I lay on the carpet, spread eagle
All the lights off...the darkness spreading over me
The darkness soaking into me
I could feel the air pressure...miles of air on top of me pushing me down
or was that gravity, pulling me down
Now that I think about it, it must have been gravity
I stuck to the floor like a magnet on the fridge
I couldn't move
muscles impaired...
Extreme relaxation set in without a hint of fatigue
I didn't want to sleep
I didn't want to move
I just wanted the darkness to wash over me again
I was just soaking in the darkness
Trying not to be too dramatic
Yet, here I am, laying in the middle of my living room
In the dark
not moving
How much more dramatic can I get?
I don't remember getting up
but I remember the feeling I had
The darkness cleansed me like nothing could
The darkness took my stress away
The darkness cured me
Relish
I didn't know they made dill relish until recenlty. I found some in my fridge. I was speechless. All these years I thought I hated relish because it was sweet. "I hate sweet relish!" I mean seriously, pickles weren't meant to be sweet, who ever thought of that anyway? Crazyness. But dill relish, now there's an idea! All the taste of a great dill pickle, yet small enough to put on your hotdog...without that sweet crap taste. So if you didn't know they had dill relish, like me (until recently), then check it out. It's like Christmas all over again when you find stuff like this! Except you have to pay for it...and you probably wouldn't get relish for Christmas...Whatever.
Go dill!
Music from the commute: "Strutter" - Kiss
2/27/2005
Way too long
It has been entirely too long since I've posted. I realize that and I apologize. Tha Captian came down from that ABQ to grace us with his presence. We went to Sam's club on friday night and he purchased an HBO show called "Deadwood". You may have heard of it before, but if you've never experienced the...uh...experience of watching it, you really, really need to. There's nothing like this show...and he got me hooked. It's about...well, I'm not even gonna tell you what it's about becuase I imagine that sometime in the near future, you will be able to read an in-depth post about this very subject on The Jungle. Anyway I'm all hooked and now I wish I had HBO so I could watch all the new shows.
2/24/2005
FAYGO REMEMBERS!!!
Guess what I just got in the mail yesterday? You guessed it:
FAYGO
My most thoughtful and loving girlfriend ordered Faygo from Detroit TO MY HOUSE. TO MY HOUSE! Can you believe it? Me either! It's crazy! She is the sweetest girl...sending me Faygo and everything. You don't even know. Red pop is the flavor,
and I love it! She got me a 12 pack! OMG...I'm so excited...there's...I can't...OMG...I just can't...
I'm speechless...
Currently Listening to: "Comedy Hour" - George Lopez
2/21/2005
Break Out!
"Break out, break out of your shell" They say
"Grow up, grow up, be mature or you'll pay!"
What do you know, what do you know about me?
How can I break out of something I can't even see?
I just wanna sit here and write all day
But it's "Break out! Break out, or get out of the way!"
I'm not in the way, you put me here!
All you are made of is weakness and fear!
Get outta the way, you'll never succeed!
How do you know? You don't even bleed!
YOUR NOT A REAL PERSON, YOUR JUST A MACHINE!!!
No emotion or feelings just dull, mad, and mean...
I'm free right now, I'm gonna make it through
But all you want from me is...you.
2/20/2005
My messy room
Here's my room before I cleaned it:
Here it is afterwards: (I still need to vaccuum)
Here it is afterwards: (I still need to vaccuum)
2/18/2005
Spring Cleaning
I think I'll clean my room this weekend. I mean really clean. My room is pretty much always clean but not as much as I'd like it to be, there's always a little clutter here and there and I would like it to be pristine. I think I'll put a big trash can in the middle of my room and then go through ALL my stuff, and throw away anything I haven't used in a year. That will make my room a little leaner. It's a little like life that way, when you move or change your life around. Get rid of all the stuff that's from your past...just start over. No reminders, no regrets. I try to do that from time to time. I go through my phone and delete all the numbers that I no longer use...but that's never a good idea. Once you delete a number, you almost ALWAYS need it the next day. Well anyway, if I do proceed with my spring cleaning plans, you'll be viewing a "before" and "after" picture so you'll know what happened. HOLLA!
Music From the Commute - "Put Yo Back Into It" - Ice Cube
Music From the Commute - "Put Yo Back Into It" - Ice Cube
2/16/2005
A New Love?
I have a confession to make. I am in love...with Dashboard Confessional. I just got A mark, a mission, a brand, a scar (Their newest album) yesterday and I am still in awe. It's been so long since an artist has shocked me like this. This album is incredible, undeniably original, and once I absorb it, I can't wait to get my hands on the others. I want more. The most amazing thing is this: DC is only one man - Chris Carrabba. I couldn't believe it at first, but now I am thoroughly impressed. This guy has been around for a while now, and I don't know why I didn't notice him before.
A mark, a mission is so heartfelt, so emotional...it induces heartbreak. I listened to this album on the way to work today and I just wanted to sit in my car and cry...It made me so sad, but it was addicting in a way that you may never understand...unless, of course, you purchase the album. Then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. OH, the joys of heartbreak! If Dashboard Confessional's third full album can affect me like this, I'm going to need more. I'll acquire the other two, plus the EP's and then I'll be another waiting fan...waiting for the next big release, the next big emotional set, the next big heartbreak...to get my fix.
2/14/2005
Happy Valentine's Day
This has been the BEST Valentine's day ever. I was really happy today...unlike any other Valentine's day that I can remember. I am in love and I can't deny it...not that I want to. Valentine's day has never meant so much to me...today wasn't just another Hallmark Holiday as it has been in the past. I always found something wrong with the day, but today was beyond anything I could have hoped for. My Valentine wasn't even with me today and it was still a great day. I can only imagine what it will be like when we are together. As this Valentine's day draws to a close, I look forward to many happy Valentine's Day's in the future...
I love you, my valentine...
Currently Listening to: "Screaming Infidelities" - Dashboard Confessional
2/13/2005
Church
I went to church today for the first time in...a LONG time. I was amazed at the feeling that it gave me just to be there. I remember when I was younger, and was forced to go to church with my parents, I had no interest whatsoever in anything that was being said. I remember counting down the clock until we could leave. I remember daydreaming and thinking of ANYTHING else besides the gospel. Today, I actually paid attention, and it was everything that I never knew it could be. I felt so great afterward...rarely has a Sunday for me been this...joyful. I was interested in the sermon. It was thought provoking. It had me evaluating myself in a way that I've never experienced. I feel like this was the first time I had EVER been to church...I'm going again next weekend. I want to learn more. I want to know all I can. I want to feel this again...
2/12/2005
I want to go to the moon
I wanna go to the moon...who's with me? We could take a balloon, and hope we could float high enough...or, I know this guy with a rocket we could borrow. We'd still have to pay for gas either way. I wish we could take a canoe. I like canoes but they don't have docks on the moon. I'm so fly. I could just lift myself up there, you'd have to hold my hand. Are you willing to hold my hand? It's a long way, you might get tired...maybe we could build a ladder so we could get back, if we wanted. I have a feeling though, that if we went, we'd never want to come back down. When you're on the moon, everything seems perfect...it is perfect, or as close as life can come to it. I can't be perfect, but I can go to the moon...and I can take you with me. Follow me to the moon...
2/10/2005
I'm so hot I'm on the sun
I'M SO HOT...I'M SO HOT, I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA DIE. I think I'm dying...
Before you start to think that I'm super arrogant and everything, just know that I'm talking about temperature...I'm so damn hot right now. I feel like I need to get away from myself, step out of my skin...just for a little bit, just to cool off. Go to your cave, go to your cave. I can't stop this feeling, I feel like the sun fell on me. I'M SO HOT!!!!! I can't get away from it, I need to be frozen, somebody pour some ice on me, I'm melting...
Currently Listening to: "Go DJ" - Lil Wayne
Before you start to think that I'm super arrogant and everything, just know that I'm talking about temperature...I'm so damn hot right now. I feel like I need to get away from myself, step out of my skin...just for a little bit, just to cool off. Go to your cave, go to your cave. I can't stop this feeling, I feel like the sun fell on me. I'M SO HOT!!!!! I can't get away from it, I need to be frozen, somebody pour some ice on me, I'm melting...
Currently Listening to: "Go DJ" - Lil Wayne
2/09/2005
Televizzle
[this picture has nothing to do with the post]
"There's something about you
That tears me inside out
whenever you're around
And there's something about you
That makes me fly
You're a heart attack,
just the kind I like
And there's something about your kiss
haunting and strange
That makes me feel so good"
-New Radicals
Sometimes you just can't see far enough ahead to make good decisions...but I'm tired of being so serious and depressing. let's talk about TV. I NEVER watch TV. Really, I only have maybe watched 15 minutes of television in the last week or two. I just don't get into it like some people do...I just can't relate. When I do sit down at the TV, I feel like I'm wasting my time, like there is something more important or productive that I could be doing instead...and then I shut it off and go do something more important or productive. I have been informed that TV for some people is like music is for me. I would rather listen to music - some people would rather watch TV. Music, though, is a pleasure that may be enjoyed while doing other, productive things. To get the full television experience you must focus aurally and visually...this level of commitment (of your senses) doesn't really allow you to do anything else. I think this is why I feel uncomfortable watching TV. I feel trapped and unable to do anything while I am entranced by the flashing images and sounds. I've come to the conclusion that TV must be evil...and that's why I don't watch it. I shun that which will corrupt me.
HA, who am I kidding...
Music from the commute: "Ghetto Cowboy" - Mo Thugs
2/08/2005
Orgasmic Steak
I have decided (in reality I was "strongly urged") to write a positive post today...what is more positive than orgasmic steak? I know what you're thinking. Well, I probably don't, but at this point I can assume that it's not good. I'll explain. I went to a restaurant here in town called Mission de Mesilla. I had a steak there that was out of this world...I couldn't believe how good this thing was. They brought the steak out in a skillet and lit it on fire right there at our table. THEY LIT THE STEAK ON FIRE. ON FIRE! Do you hear what I'm typing people? They lit my steak on fire right there in front of me, then they put it out...they did some other stuff to it too, but I don't know what it was because I was still in shock from the previous pyro-orgasmic show. When they served it, it was like butter on my knife...I'm telling you, this steak cut like butter...It was incredible...I couldn't believe it. It was like steak-flavored butter. I set the knife on top of the steak, and it fell into the steak. Am I painting a detailed enough picture here? This is even before I've tasted it...
OK so, I cut a piece (I use the word "cut" loosely here) from the steak and brought it to my mouth...I hesitated. Could this steak change my life? I couldn't wait any longer so I placed the steak on my tongue...and I have to tell you, I've never tasted anything so perfect in my life...well, there is one other thing that I won't mention here...but the steak even surpassed that! This steak melted in my mouth...it was chateau briand in all it's glory...it was almost orgasmic. I'm not kidding you even a little bit. There is no exaggeration in this post. That was the best food I've ever had...that's including every dessert and delicacy that has passed my lips. I paid 60 dollars for this chunk of heaven...and it was worth every penny.
Currently Listening to: "Sunrise" - Gurilla Black
2/07/2005
Things that provoke my anger:
Here are the top 5 things that make me mad...just in case you were wondering:
- People stepping on my shoes - This is one of the most painful things I encounter...I don't really know why, but my shoes are like a part of me. It doesn't matter how dirty they are, when someone touches any part of my shoe with any part of theirs...it pisses me off.
- People touching my hair - Don't touch my hair...if it's got product in it. I should clairify because I don't care if people touch my hair after a shower, or when I wake up...or any time when I haven't spent an hour shaping and perfecting each strand. I am an artist. My art is my hair. Don't mess with my art.
- Feeling left-out - Unless it's a "messy hair party" I feel left-out if I'm not invited to something that everybody else is invited to. I'm sensitive about that, my feelings get hurt...and if I am subsequently invited...I don't feel like going. I don't know why this affects me, but maybe I just feel like I'm not wanted...and it pisses me off.
- Getting dirty - "Dirty" doesn't mean just dirt. I mean anything that does not belong/smell good on me or my clothes...pisses me off. Dirt, food, most liquids, hair, lint, and bad breath that are thrust upon me without my approval...piss me off. Especially if it's not my fault. If somebody else is inconsiderate enough to put any of those things on me, they will have some redeeming to do.
- Rude people - I like considerate people. I don't really deal with rude people well, they turn my good mood upside down. If you touch my stuff, insult me, get me dirty, step on my shoes, or anything else generally classified as "rude," you have offended me and cannot redeem yourself...for at least a month.
Music from the commute: "Stacy's Mom" - Fountains of Wayne
2/06/2005
Time
I've realized that time is not on my side, as some people say...
Time sucks. There it is. The undeniable fact that is factually undeniable. Don't try to talk to me about opinions or preferences...it just sucks.
Time has never been my friend. When I need more of it, it goes faster - just to spite me. There really is never enough time...unless of course you want it to pass quickly, then there is just too much of it in the way. Time knows exactly how to push each and every one of your buttons. When you have a paper due the next day at 9:00 am, time just decides to be gay and speed up so you can't finish in time. When you're waiting for something you really want...or something really important...or both, time takes....it's time. There is nothing good about time except the fact that it brings people together at the same...time. But even then, time makes people late and I hate that. Punctuality is a mastery of time. You own time if you are punctual. You should be the boss of time, don't let time control you...more than it already does. This idea of time tells me when to go to work, when to wake up, when to go to school... IT CONTROLS MY LIFE! And I don't even know what it is...
I vote for the abolishment of time. Who's with me?
Currently listening to: "Shipbuilding" - Elvis Costello
Time sucks. There it is. The undeniable fact that is factually undeniable. Don't try to talk to me about opinions or preferences...it just sucks.
Time has never been my friend. When I need more of it, it goes faster - just to spite me. There really is never enough time...unless of course you want it to pass quickly, then there is just too much of it in the way. Time knows exactly how to push each and every one of your buttons. When you have a paper due the next day at 9:00 am, time just decides to be gay and speed up so you can't finish in time. When you're waiting for something you really want...or something really important...or both, time takes....it's time. There is nothing good about time except the fact that it brings people together at the same...time. But even then, time makes people late and I hate that. Punctuality is a mastery of time. You own time if you are punctual. You should be the boss of time, don't let time control you...more than it already does. This idea of time tells me when to go to work, when to wake up, when to go to school... IT CONTROLS MY LIFE! And I don't even know what it is...
I vote for the abolishment of time. Who's with me?
Currently listening to: "Shipbuilding" - Elvis Costello
2/01/2005
To know how I feel
If only you knew how I felt...
Is it possible to cry out of happiness and sadness at the same time?
I find myself more sad than ever today...but I know it's only a matter of time...only waiting for the moment when I can begin my forever...the moment when I can be happy again.
I love you...
