4/18/2005
It's too hot under the sun
I never realized how hard it is to achieve bliss. The simple pleasures in life are lost when school is your mother, your brother and your boss. School dictates your life and you can't even post...I can't even post...I can't even see. Past these books is a stack of work. Past the work is my laptop, filled with blank word documents waiting to be filled. WHERE AM I? lost in this blizzard of homework and studying for tests that won't ever matter after this semester and the impact they may have on the almighty "GPA" School has taken over my mind...I'm struggling with the concept...but I have an idea that if I relax and accept the parasite...it will be much easier to turn into whatever it wants me to be. I will become the studying, writing, calculating, analyzing student that I've forever shunned. My existence will become important only to one thing: serve and complete. I will graduate. I will succeed. But here's where my mind wraps around itself looking for an answer that isn't even there: If I succeed at something that changed me in the process, have I succeeded, or have my goals shifted?
Maybe when I graduate I'll make more sense.
Currently Listening to: "Indecisive" - Chimaria
